I’m just going to apologize in advance for this post, because it’s super disgusting. On the other hand, it’s sort of cool???

No, just disgusting? Yeah. Definitely disgusting.

I think most people can agree that (cooked) turkey is good, right? But, like, raw? When you have to pull out the baggie of body parts and then shove wet bread chunks up its backside? Oh and don’t forget those thick veins. And the pervasive smell.

In case you’re interested in sufficiently grossing out your guests next Thanksgiving, here is a step-by-step photo diary of my process:

1. Begin with a simple layer cake. Carve into turkey shape. Cover with buttercream.
2. Make a cake pop dough (cooked cake mixed with buttercream until it’s very thick and can hold a shape) and mold them around two straws into a drumstick shape. Cover these with buttercream as well.
3. Roll many (many, many) pink fondant balls and stick them into the buttercream. Make sure to go in rows, and keep your size consistent as well. Some are large, some are medium, some are small- just look at a regular raw turkey for inspiration. This step is important in order to achieve the “dimpled” look.  (“Plucked-feather” look?)
4. Cover entire bird with an ivory-colored piece of fondant.
5. Paint with blue and purple. A real raw turkey has shades of blue and purple in certain parts of the skin. Then highlight certain parts lighter pink or bright pink/red. Go crazy, make veins, do the whole shebang.
6. Once everything is painted and is dry, cover with a thin layer of piping gel to give it that “wet” look. (ewww)

And voila… finally, a turkey that vegetarians can enjoy.

* I take no responsibility for any nightmares you have after seeing these photos